14 Years and Counting

Happy Anniversary to my great husband, Tin Man!

14 years ago today Tin Man and I were married.

Doesn't seem like its been that long ago.

We've grown as individuals and also as a couple

I can't imagine what my life would be like without him.  We've had our ups and downs like all couples.

I've had several people tell me that I'm such a good wife because I've stuck by him through all this and I didn't use it as an excuse to throw in the towel.  I'm not sure if I should take this as a complement or an insult.  I mean, seriously, do they really see me as the type of person that would just up and leave my husband because he's sick ?

Yes the last 2 years have been beyond stressful and have been a huge test, but we've both grown as individuals and also as a couple.  As weird as it sounds, its brought us closer together and let us know that if we can get through this, we can handle anything thrown at us.

When we chose the date we didn't think about the fact that it was Super Bowl weekend.

Super Bowl weekend in Las Vegas is a madhouse.

And no it wasn't one of the lame drive through wedding chapels.  We lived in Vegas at the time and I wanted a beautiful, yet inexpensive, wedding.

We got married at a place called Las Vegas Wedding Gardens.  Unfortunately its not longer there, but it was gorgeous!  It was in doors in a garden setting.  Garden benches for the guests.  We stood in front of a water fall.  I fell in love with it the minute we saw it.

Like any wedding, that morning was a huge rush.  My mom, sister, and both grandmothers were getting our hair done by a good friend of ours.  He shut down his salon on the Strip for the morning just so he could do my hair.

Sitting there having my hair, and mani/pedi done I was able to relax.  Little did I know that all hell was going to break loose as soon as we were done.

We only had to go a little over a 1/4th of a mile to NY NY hotel to finish getting ready.  We had 3 hours.  Plenty of time, right?  WRONG!

Like I said Super Bowl weekend in Vegas is a madhouse.  It took us 2 1/2 hours to go that little distance.  Would have even taken longer if my step dad hadn't known of a few short cuts (more like cutting through parking lots and a trailer park).

We get to the hotel and I have 15 minutes for my mom, my sister, and I to get dressed and get our makeup on before we had to go down and meet the limo.

Needless to say I was stressed out and felt like I was going to throw up.

I ended up doing my make up in the limo while we were stuck in traffic on the way to the venue.  Again I was stressed out, but hey, they can't do much without the bride.

Once we finally got there (only 20 minutes late).  Everything went smoothly.

Thankfully my uncle and brother in law decided to keep their mistakes all to themselves until the reception.

We got married on Saturday.  On Thursday my uncle, Tin Man, and his brother went to pick up their tuxes.  I told them to try them on.  ALL 3 of them told me they tried them on and everything was perfect.  WHAT A BUNCH OF LIARS!

They waited until the morning of the wedding to even look at them.  How do I know this  Because they would have realized right away that they were given the wrong colors.  My colors were white, teal, and black.  Their vests were fire engine red!

Not just the wrong colors but my uncle's jacket was a size 2 small and his pants were 3 sizes to big.

They spent the morning driving all over the Las Vegas valley looking for teal colored vests and pants that would actually fit my uncle.

They are very very lucky they were able to fix it.  If not they would have seen just how angry I could get.

Even with the all the problems we ran into, it was still more than I could have asked for.

Exhausted Doesn't Begin to Describe It

I've had so many people tell me that I'm handling all of this so much better than they would.  Its because I have no other choice.  You'd be surprised at how much stress you can deal with if you have to.

On the outside, well more like, in public and when the kids are around, I am a pro at holding it all together.  When I'm buy myself I feel like I'm falling apart.  I have so many things swarming around inside my head, so many things I know need to be done and no clue how to get them done.


I can't remember the last time I had a decent night sleep.  Sleeping pills are out of the question because if the call comes in the middle of the night, I need to be able to function.

Between the weird dreams caused by one of my meds (evil meds, but helps with my energy) and not being able to turn my brain off most nights, I don't get much sleep.

One of the things that has me so stressed out is not knowing when this is going to happen.  I know I've complained about this before, but seriously its driving me insane.  I've always had everything planned out down to the minute.

Between doctors appointments, school, kids activities, and anything and everything else, being organized has made life much simpler.

I have my lists of things that need to be done when we get the call, but I know when that time comes all I'm going to be worried about is getting the kids ready to go and getting to the hospital.

Now on top of all that we have the stress about whether or not we're going to lose our insurance.  We definitely have it until June, but after that is still up in the air.

I'm so exhausted all the time and would love nothing more than to just sleep for a week or 2.

FoodSaver and Salads in a Jar

My mother-in-law bought us a FoodSaver vacuum sealer for Christmas.  You know you're officially a grown up when you're excited about something like this.

Tin Man and I had talked about buying one but when his mom asked what we wanted for Christmas, this was on the list we gave her.

We're trying to save money any way we can, and buying meat in bulk is one way.  Whenever we find a great deal on meat we try to stock up.  This seems like a great idea at the time, until its time to clean out the freezer.  We then find ourselves throwing away so much of these great deals because of freezer burn.

This last time was the last straw and we decided we needed to invest in the FoodSaver so we could stock up on the meat, and actually be able to eat it.  Not to mention Tin Man has seen several recipes that require vacuum sealing the seasonings into the meat for a couple of days.  He's more excited to try those out than he is saving money.

Another great thing is all the attachments you can buy.

There are so many so Tin Man and I decided on choosing one each right now.  Tin Man chose the quick marinator bowl.  Since he's is on a low sodium diet, we've had to find creative ways to season everything.  A lot of the low sodium seasonings just don't add much flavor.  So Tin Man has started experimenting with different seasonings and marinades.  He loves coming up with his own "top secret" marinades.

I chose the wide mouth jar sealer attachment. A couple weeks ago I came across Salad in a Jar.  I love the idea and now am excited to make my own.  I love salads but always find myself throwing out the lettuce more often than not because it gets soggy and gross. 

I like the idea of being able to prepare these one afternoon and have them available whenever I want a snack or a salad with a meal.  I find myself eating out a lot more than I would like because I don't have the time to actually fix me something for lunch.  Plus eating out and trying to lose weight don't go together.

These will definitely come in handy on our long days at clinic.  There isn't anything within walking distance around the clinic, and eating at the hospital is expensive, not to mention very few options that Tin Man can actually eat.  Even hospital cafeteria food is high in sodium.

Yes I know, I get excited over the smallest things, but anything that helps us save money, AND is healthy, I'm all for it.

Another Social Worker and Doctor

Yesterday was a very long day at Stanford.  Tin Man had a cardiology appointment and we also met with the social worker and the surgeon.  We were prepared for the doctor to be behind schedule because it was the first clinic after vacation.  We joke about him being so far behind, but I can't complain.  He comes in and asks how things are going.  Not just with Tin Man, but he asks about me and the kids.  When he explains things he makes sure we understand what he's talking about and makes sure we don't leave the room if we still don't understand. 

Yesterday we went over the results from the heart cath Tin Man had done in December.  The pressures in the lungs look great, are actually better than they have been before.  However the heart function has decreased.  So doctor wants to do another exercise test to see where he's had now compared to 2 years ago. 

We were also told that they are bringing a kidney doctor onto the team.  Tin Man's creatinine levels were 2.3.  He said they would prefer anything below 1.7, but don't worry until they reach 2.0 or higher.  So now we wait for the call to schedule that appointment and the exercise test. 

Warrior and Sugar Pea went with us to interview the suregon.  Warrior is doing his graduation project on transplants and he had to interview someone who has first hand knowledge.  Who better than the surgeon thats been doing it longer than Tin Man's been alive.

Sugar Pea had her own set of questions to ask.  Like how they can make a normal healthy heart fit where he daddy's heart is since his is "all deformed and just not normal" (her words).  It was pretty interesting to here his explanation. 

We also met with our latest social worker.  This was social worker #8 or 9 and she told us that she is just temporary.  So we can expect to meet with a new one soon.  This is the only complaint I've had about this whole process.  We haven't met with the same person 2 times in a row.  Needless to say when we have questions, getting answers is tough.

This social worker was helpful as far as giving us ideas on who to talk to and what to research as far as insurance ideas and what we need to look into to keep Tin Man insured and on the waiting list if his employer does decide to do away with health insurance completely.

Kids go back to school on Monday, and we have several fundraisers in the works, and now researching insurance options. 

I need to clone myself so I can do 2 or 3 things at the same time.

Broken Laptop, New Year, and Gift Cards

I finally have a chance to sit down and type out a full entry.  My in-laws were here this last week, so most of the time was spent off doing things with them.
I've had several people email me wanting to know how they can help without having to go through HelpHopeLive.  I have the donate button on the page if you'd like to donate to that, or you could donate gas cards or grocery cards.  Tin Man gets his meds from Walmart because they are so much cheaper there than anything here in town, so Walmart cards to use towards the medicines would be a huge help.  Please if you're interested, email me at EverydayMorning@gmail and I'll get you more info.

So the day after Christmas I got up and turned my laptop on only to find its not working.  I think my hard drive went out, but not for sure.  I shipped it out today so hopefully they can fix it in a hurry.  I'm lost without my laptop and no matter what Tin Man says, his laptop just isn't the same.

Our Christmas and New Year was good.  Just glad all the holidays are over.  Hopefully by this coming Christmas Tin Man will have gotten his new heart and I'll be able to enjoy the holidays again.

I have many hopes for this new year.  Obviously the main one being Tin Man getting his transplant, but I have some for myself as well.  The biggest one is getting healthy and losing this nasty weight.  Sugar Peas got The Black Eyed Peas Experience and dancing with her kicked my butt.  We've been doing 3 songs every night since Christmas.  I decide I'm going to get her Just Dance, Just Dance 2, and Just Dance 3. For myself I'm going to check out Gold's Gym Dance Workout.

Doing the dancing is fun once you get the hang of it, plus it gets my heart rate up, and doesn't feel like exercising. 

We're also looking into getting a treadmill.  He's supposed to walk every day, but between living in a very hilly town and him not able to handle the hills and the weather, he doesn't to out to walk like he's supposed to.  The treadmill will let him walk at his pace and on flat ground.

Hopefully everyone had a safe and happy New Years! 

200 Books in 2012

After Tin Man's transplant and death, I didn't feel like reading, so I need to bring my original goal of 200 books down to 100.

1. The Help - Kathryn Stockett
2. Explosive 18 - Janet Evanovich
3. Aphrodite's Kiss - Julie Kenner
4. Aphrodite's Passion - Julie Kenner
5. Aphrodite's Secret - Julie Kenner
6. Aphrodite's Flame - Julie Kenner
7. Plain Truth - Jodi Picoult
8. Room - Emma Donoghue
9. Wake - Lisa McMann
10. Gone - Lisa McMann
11. Fade - Lisa McMann
12. Inkheart - Cornelia Funke
13. Inkspell - Cornelia Funke
14. Inkdeath - Cornelia Funke
15. Real Murders - Charlaine Harris
16. A Bone to Pick - Charlaine Harris
17. Three Bedrooms, One Corpse - Charlaine Harris
18. The Julius House - Charlaine Harris
19. Dead Over Heels - Charlaine Harris
20. A Fool and His Honey - Charlaine Harris
21. Last Scene Alive - Charlaine Harris
22. Poppy Done to Death - Charlaine Harris
23. Daughters of the Moon 1-3 - Lynne Ewing
24. Grave Sight - Charlaine Harris
25. Grave Surprise - Charlaine Harris
26. An Ice Cold Grave - Charlaine Harris
27. Grave Secret - Charlaine Harris 
28. Blood Memories - Barb Hendee
29. Hunting Memories - Barb Hendee
30. Memories of Envy- Barb Hendee
31. In Memories We Fear - Barb Hendee
32. Shakespeare's Landlord - Charlaine Harris
33. Shakespeare's Champion - Charlaine Harris 
34. Shakespeare's Christmas - Charlaine Harris
35. Shakespeare's Trollop - Charlaine Harris
36. Shakespeare's Counselor - Charlaine Harris
37. Black Dawn - Rachel Caine
38. The Girl Across the Water - Jody Kihara
39. Hex Hall - Rachel Hawkins
40. Demonglass - Rachel Hawkins
41. Spell Bound - Rachel Hawkins
42. Bonefire of the Vanities - Carolyn Haines
43. Carpe Demon - Julie Kenner
44. California Demon - Julie Kenner
45. Demons Are Forever - Julie Kenner
46. Deja Demon - Julie Kenner
47. Demon Ex Machina - Julie Kenner