Famous Free Samples’ Apple TV Giveaway Event

Famous Free Samples’ Apple TV Giveaway Event  

 Sign-ups are now open for Famous Free Samples’ latest giveaway event!

• This event is free to join with an announcement post. If you don't wish to post the announcement, please send the $5 non-post fee to tiphero@gmail.com
• You'll receive 1 free link for participating (either Twitter or Pinterest)
• Additional links (RSS/Email, YouTube, Twitter and Pinterest) are available for $5 each
• Sign-ups for this event end on May 20th
• Event runs from May 22 - June 5
• Prize: An Apple TV (in the form of a $100 Apple Gift Card)

Please send all payments to tiphero@gmail.com as a "gift" via PayPal. Sign up for this event here.

I Hoped 1 Year Would Have Been Easier

I had hopes that when we hit the 1 year mark things would get a little easier.  We were done with all the firsts.  It had been 365 days without Tin Man.

I knew it wouldn't be an instant changed, but I had hoped it would gradually start to happen.

Instead it feels worse in some ways.

Mother's Day this year was hard.  Last year I was still numb.  Plus my mom was here so I was focused on celebrating with her.  This year I was alone with the kids. 

One of my early Mother's Day presents was a letter from the 2 of them.  In the letter they promised to give me a weekend of no fighting.

That lasted an hour.  Come Sunday morning they were fighting the minute they woke up.  They had it all planned out that they were going to make me breakfast in bed.  Warrior decided he didn't want to make eggs, and told Sugar Pea that I could settle for toast.  This didn't go over well with her, and she made sure he knew it.

Another part of the letter was promising they would do their chores without me having to fight with them.

Didn't happen.  I didn't figure either of these would actually happen, but I was hopeful.

Between their constant fighting, and me feeling so lonely, I was so glad when Mother's Day was over.

It has always been the 1 day of the year that I expect to be waited on.  Now I don't have Tin Man there to help keep the kids on track.

It was another punch in the gut.


3 weeks of school left.  OMG!  I'm counting down the days, but at the same time I'm scared.  Last year, we were still numb and we had my mom here and everyone was still being so supportive.  Plus we went out to South Carolina for a month to get away and try to start the healing process.

Now the support we had isn't there.  We do have trips planned, but as exciting as that is, it brings a sense of guilt.  We couldn't take trips like these before because we were tethered to the hospital.  Now we aren't.  We are able to do all these things because he isn't here anymore.  So the guilt is there.


I had hoped thing would be different.  Easier.  Maybe one day.

The Lucky Ones

The past couple of days I have had people constantly remind me that its been a year since Tin Man died.

You know, like I had forgotten or something.

Their reasoning for pointing out the obvious was their way of saying, "Aren't you over it yet?"

NO I am not over it.  I'm still having a lot of issues with it.

Like the reason he isn't here. 

Like the horrible guilt I have.  Guilt that I can't seem to process.  I walked into the hospital that morning and Tin Man was alive.  I walked out of the hospital after Tin Man died.  He died because of a decision I made.

I *know* it was the right decision.  I know this in my head.  I would do it all over again.

I know that in my head.  Unfortunately my heart has other feelings on this.  I feel guilty.  I feel guilty because my kids lost their dad.  I feel guilty because my MIL lost her son, my BIL lost his brother.  I made a choice that made all these happen.  Me.

I know it was the right thing to do, but that doesn't stop my guilt.

I'm also trying to figure out where we go from here.  I've signed up for school, and trying to brush up on my math for my placement test next week. 

I waited a year because I didn't want to change to much for the kids all at once.  Now everything seems to be changing, whether I want it to or not.

School is good.  I have decided to go into radiology.  

The kids are able to do more things, and able to do camps this summer, along with day camps. 

While this is a great thing, its also one of those huge flashing reminders letting us know that they can do these things because we don't have $10,000s of medical bills staring us in the face anymore.

That's one thing people don't seem to understand.  Good things bring happiness, but also sadness.  There is always constant reminders that he's no longer here.  That he's missing this or that.

I have learned that the ones that make comments make them because they don't understand.  Those that do understand don't make the comments because they get what I am feeling.

Those that don't understand are the lucky ones.  They haven't experienced the lost of their spouse.  Their best friend.  Their kids' father.  They haven't lost their future.  Their dreams.

I would give anything to be one of those lucky ones.

High School Presentation

Last week Warrior gave his first high school presentation about organ donation.

We took a training class in January 2012 to learn how to give presentations to high school students.  Then Tin Man started getting sicker and it was something we put off.  Then it was something that was going to be something Tin Man and Warrior could do together.

Then Tin Man passed away and it wasn't something any of us were ready for.  The kids loved telling people about Tin Man and everything he went for, but they weren't ready to answer the questions that come with the presentation.

Even now, a year later, Warrior was extremely nervous.  He was afraid he wouldn't have the answers, and he was scared he'd start crying and embarrass himself.  You know the big macho act most teenage boys put on.

I think it surprised him seeing some of these high school boys, some his friends, some big football jocks, tearing up.  I think he also realized that crying because his dad died is much different than crying because he got hit by a ball.

We could tell, and the teacher told us that he has sat through several presentations on organ donation, but he had never seen anyone impact the kids like Warrior did.

Here is someone their age, that has been through hell and back, and still fighting for what he believes in.

The teacher told us a few days later that the kids from that class were still talking about it and how if anything were to happen to them they wanted their families to donate their organs.

Warrior is definitely ready for more chances to speak to high school students.

Lupus Awareness Month

I was diagnosed in March 2008 with Lupus and Scleroderma.   It took me 2 years and 3 doctors before I found a doctor that would actually listen to me and take me seriously.  Then it took almost another year of tests before I got a diagnosis.

In that time I could barely get out of bed.  I would sleep 15 + hours a day.  I felt like I was coming down with the flu, but I never actually got sick.  I hurt.  A hurt that I couldn't describe.  To this day its still hard to describe so that people can understand.

Lupus is a chronic, autoimmune disease that can damage any part of the body (skin, joints, and/or organs inside the body). Chronic means that the signs and symptoms tend to last longer than six weeks and often for many years. In lupus, something goes wrong with your immune system, which is the part of the body that fights off viruses, bacteria, and germs ("foreign invaders," like the flu). Normally our immune system produces proteins called antibodies that protect the body from these invaders. Autoimmune means your immune system cannot tell the difference between these foreign invaders and your body’s healthy tissues ("auto" means "self") and creates autoantibodies that attack and destroy healthy tissue. These autoantibodies cause inflammation, pain, and damage in various parts of the body.

I have my good days, and bad.  Sometimes I can tell when I'm getting ready for a flare, and other times I can go to bed feeling fine and the next day I'm not.

I have also learned that I have to spare my energy.  When I first was diagnosed and the medicines were starting to help me feel better, I would try to fit as much as I could in on the good days.  I'd wake up with energy and feel like I needed to make it count.  Then I would spend the next 3 days trying to recover.

Now when I wake up with energy I try to limit myself to 1 hard chore and 2 medium chores.  If it takes longer to get things done, so be it.  Especially now, being the only parent, I have to be able to function to take care of my kids.


I have had many people ask what Lupus feels like.  Its not something you can really describe in a way a healthy person can understand.

Then I came across this excellent article by Christine Miserandino called The Spoon Theory.  

She does a wonderful job explaining what its like to live with Lupus and how simple everyday chores can be hard for us to deal with some days.

The Spoon Theory doesn't just work for Lupus, it works for many "invisible" diseases.  We used it a few times to explain to people why Tin Man wasn't able to do things.  He looked healthy, but he was far from healthy.  But because he wasn't on oxygen 24/7 people didn't see him as being that sick.

I urge you to share The Spoon Theory with your friends, family, and readers.