1 Year Already

Saturday marked 1 year since my husband was added to the transplant list for a new heart.

1 year.   365 days.  And counting.

This year has flown by in so many ways, and in other ways its been a very long year.  Some days I wish the call would hurry up and come and other days I don't feel ready.

There is only so much we can actually plan.  We have so many lists on our fridge.  Things like who needs to be called, things that need done around the house before we leave, and things we need to pack.

We also planned out who is going to watch the kids when that time comes.  Actually we have Plan A, B, and C just in case.  I kept having dreams that our Plan A and B were out of town at the same time so I had to come up with 1 more person just to calm my own nerves.

When that phone call finally comes we have 4 hours to get to the hospital.   Depending on time of day and traffic that can be a 1 - 2 hour drive.  Doesn't give us much time to get things around the house taken care of.  So the lists will come in handy.

The kids have also asked if we could take a moment to say a prayer and light a candle for the donor family.  This has been really hard for all of us because the guilty conscience has kicked in and we feel bad for wishing for a heart for The Tin Man knowing that means that someone has to die. 

When a friend of mine's grandfather died, their family lit a candle in his honor and said a little prayer that his soul made it to its destination.  So the kids asked if they could do that for the donor family.  I thought it was a great idea. 

We are hoping the time comes soon, but because of Tin Man's blood type we were told that it could be  2 or more years before they get a match for him.  That's as long as we can keep his lungs healthy enough to keep him from needing a heart/lung transplant.  That is a much much much longer wait.

I just hope it doesn't come to that.