Thursday, September 17, 2015

Death and a Picture

This picture was taken in September 2011.  Just 6 months before Tin Man's transplant, and just 7 months before he died.

We were at the Donate Life 5K.  Its one of my favorite pictures of them. Even though he was having a hard time that day, he was still so excited to be there.  (and way to stubborn to let us push him in a wheelchair)  It took us a loooong time to finish the 5K because we had to take breaks so he could rest, but he was so excited that he finished it.

This picture was taken
the day her received
the call for his new heart.
This is what I want my kids to remember.  I want them to remember the good times.  Those nerdy moments Tin Man had.  The humor.  The stubbornness.  The man he was.

We've all seen the picture going around on Facebook.  The one with the woman and her 2 kids smiling in front of her husband lying in his casket.  The photo that she's using to try to raise awareness of addiction and what it did to her family.

I understand her reasoning behind posting it.  And I think its great that she's trying to use her nightmare to bring more awareness to a problem facing many people.

However, I don't totally agree with it.  I refused to let anyone take pictures of Tin Man at his wake or his funeral.  I wanted people to remember him for the man he was and not what he looked like laying there.  I didn't want that picture somehow ending up back at my kids.  No child should have to relive that moment through pictures.

They tried talking
him into buying them one
My husband died from a recalled medicine while he was in the hospital after his transplant.  I don't need a picture of him in his casket to raise awareness of this.  I have a voice.  I have talked to social workers at hospitals.  I have talked with people who have loved ones in the hospital.  I have talked to anyone that would listen.  I have thrusted flyers in people's faces.  I have talked to support groups about knowing what you or a loved one are being given in the hospital.  Ask questions.  I trusted my husband's doctors and nurses with everything I had.  But no matter how much I trusted them, it didn't stop the pharmaceutical company from making a horrible mistake.

My story is enough.  These pictures of my kids with their dad are enough.

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