May Already?!

I can't believe its already May!

We have been in South Carolina for 9 months now.  And have been super busy from the moment our feet hit the southern ground.

Its amazing to me the difference in how people interact here.  In California, most people don't talk to you unless they absolutely have to.  Here they stopped us in the stores to find out where we moved from because they hadn't seen us around before.

Also paying almost a 3rd of what I paid for rent in California has made life much more pleasant.  I'm not nearly as stressed as I was there. 

Plus the move has proven that it was the best decision.  Even the kids have thanked me for moving out here even though they fought me at the time.

Warrior is a junior this year and has been busy with studying for SATs, lacrosse, and a club at school that raises money all year for St Jude's.  Then the weekend before spring break the teacher rides from here to Memphis on a moped to take a check to the hospital.  The students are allowed to ride in a van following him.  So much fun and such a great cause.

He's also driving.  Let me tell you the thought of him driving isn't nearly as terrifying as actually being in the car with him behind the wheel.  Don't get me wrong, he's a great driver, but its all these redneck drivers that scare me.  No one around here believes in turn signals.

Sugar Pea is in 7th grade this year and has blossomed into an amazing girl.  We haven't had a bully problem since we left California.  No worries about someone commenting about her not having a dad.  No worries about them throwing things in her hair.  She's focused on her friends and school.  She's also in the middle school club for raising money to St Jude.  She was in the archery club at school, and active in the grief club at school.  Her counselor told me she's amazing helping other kids know that what they are feeling is normal and that they aren't alone.  She's the only one in the club that has lost a parent, but she realizes that no matter who you've lost, grief can be hard to deal with.  I'm so proud of my girl.

I had her IEP meeting 2 weeks ago and can't believe how much progress she has made.  She is officially done with speech therapy!  This is a huge step.  And her teacher says that not having people constantly making fun of her has brought out her confidence, so she isn't afraid to speak up.  TO think, had the school dealt with the bully issue several years ago, she could have been done with speech long before now.

She's also made huge progress with her processing disorders.  She still gets a little extra time, especially on tests, but we feel she doesn't need the resource time she had before.  This means next year she'll be able to take more electives! 

She's also decided that she wants to be a nurse when she grows up.  Not just any nurse, but a nurse in a cardiologist office.  And a nurse that designs cool looking scrubs as a hobby.  She's done 2 days of job shadowing nurses.  One in a peds office and one in a cardiologist office.  Warrior job shadowed the cardiologist too.


Its hard to believe they only have a month left of school.  I'm looking forward to it, but it also makes me sad because then I will have a senior and an 8th grader.  I'm not ready for that.

RIP Ashlynn Conner - Put an End to Bullying

I grew up not far from here.  Even though I didn't know this family, this has hit me harder than other stories like this.  Partly because of where it happened, and partly because this sweet little angel was only a year older than my daughter.

A few weeks ago, 10-year-old Ashlynn Conner told her mother she was being bullied at Ridge Farm Elementary School and in her neighborhood in Ridge Farm, Ill., WTSP reported.
Last week, Ashlynn's mother, denied her daughter's request to be home schooled. The following day, the 10-year-old's sister found her hanging in her closet by a scarf.
The devastated single mother told WCIA3 News she knew her daughter was being picked on, but not to that extent.
"They'd call her a slut," a tearful Conner told the station, "'Ashlynn's ugly.' 'She's fat.'"
While no one from the Georgetown Ridge Farm School District was available to speak with WCIA, they issued a short statement.

"The Board of Education is very saddened at the tragic loss of one of our children. Our hearts go out to her family in this time of loss."

Vermilion County Coroner Peggy Johnson said that they are still investigating into the cause of Ashlynn's death, The News-Gazette reported.
"There are all kinds of aspects of this death to look into," Johnson told The News-Gazette. "Bullying was brought up to us as a piece of the investigation, and we are still finding out information."

WCIA reported that the Conner family is still struggling to come to terms with the loss.
"I don't know what its gonna take to stop it," Conner told the station. "But no child should ever feel like they have to kill themselves to stop that kind of pain."
Last week, 18-year-old Ashley Billasano tweeted 144 times before taking her own life. Not one of her 500 followers reached out to help her.

People need to take a stand against bullying.  Parents need to step up and know what their kids are up to.  Parents of bullies need to step up and deal with what their child is doing and not dismiss it.

I've confronted the parents of the child bullying Sugar Pea several times and every time they put the blame on to Sugar Pea.  That she's to sensitive, or that she just needs to realize that is how Bully is and to get over it.

I even had a meeting with Bully's mother, the teacher, and principal last year and the mother said the same thing to them too.  Even with the strawberry incident (Sugar Pea's is very allergic to them and Bully tried to feed her one) the mother was and still is mad at me because Bully got in trouble again because of Sugar Pea.

These kids know that the schools can't do anything to them.  This is where the parents step in.  Stand up and be a parent.  If your child is being bullied, then make your voice heard.  If the teacher/principal at your school isn't doing anything about it, go higher up.  Don't stop until someone listens to you.

If you're the parent of a bully, don't pretend your sweet little innocent angel could never do anything like that.  Step up and talk to your child.  Make sure they know how you feel about bully and that you won't tolerate it.

If your child doesn't fall into those categories, talk to your kids.  Explain to them that they have the power to help the child being bullied.  That they can stand up for that child.  Either to the bully or they can let an adult know what's going on.

Take a Stand Against Bullying

Everyone has the right to feel safe in their school and community. If you see someone being bullied, you have the power to stop it.
By standing up for someone who is being bullied, you are not just helping someone else; you are also helping yourself. It is important to help others when you can.

What to Do When Someone is Being Bullied

• Take a stand and do not join in. Make it clear that you do not support what is going on.
• Do not watch someone being bullied. If you feel safe, tell the person to stop. If you do not feel safe saying something, walk away and get others to do the same. If you walk away and do not join in, you have taken their audience and power away.
• Support the person being bullied. Tell them that you are there to help. Offer to either go with them to report the bullying or report it for them.
• Talk to an adult you trust. Talking to someone could help you figure out the best ways to deal with the problem. Reach out to a parent, teacher or another adult that you trust to discuss the problem, especially if you feel like the person may be at risk of serious harm to themselves or others.

Work to Prevent Bullying

Bullying is less likely to occur when there are strong messages against it. Work with your school, community, or other groups to create and support these messages:

• Get involved with your school and community to find ways to prevent bullying.
• Create an assembly, performance, or event to spread the message.
• Be a leader [PDF 540 KB] and teach younger kids that bullying is not okay and that they can stop bullying before it begins.

Does your school have an anti bullying plan?  Suggest one.  Talk to your child's teacher and other parents in the school.

To many innocent kids aren't getting the help they need and are turning to the only thing they think will make the pain stop.

Bullying Goe On

2 weeks ago we had issues with the bully in Sugar Pea's class.  She tried to feed Sugar Pea a strawberry knowing that she's very allergic to them.  Finding this out pissed me off because this happened twice last year.  So I posted something on Facebook. 

"When picking up the kids from school, I found out that the class bully in Sugar Pea's class tried to give her a strawberry and when Sugar Peas stood up to her and told her to leave her alone, she tried to shove it in her face.  Now the mom is pissed off at me because her daughter got in trouble again because of something she did to Sugar Pea."

That is what was posted.  Now the comments I got on the post were along the lines of calling the police if the school didn't do anything about it, and what kind of parent could be angry at us because of something her child did. 

So not much was done.  The bully got 1 day off school and a Friday detention.  That's it.

Anyway, today I had parent teacher confrences.  The first thing out of the teacher aide's mouth was that she had complaints that I had posted something on Facebook about something that had happened at school.


I told her and the teacher, that yes I posted something and no there were no names mentioned.  Then they made some comment about posting things on Facebook about the kids.  I rarely post about other people's kids on Facebook.  That I posted this time because I was angry because its gotten to this point and still nothing happens.  I told the teacher that I needed to vent before I made a scene at the school.  I then told them that I will admit I didn't handle it the best way, but I'm beyond frustrated because nothing is being done and now I have to fear for my child's safety because of this little monster.

The bully's mom doesn't do anything about it.  Her daughter can't possibly do something like that.  She's even told the teacher and the principal that she's tired of her daughter getting into trouble because of how sensitive me and Sugar Pea are.   I've talked to several parents and they've told me things that the bully has done to their daughters.  So its not just aimed at Sugar Pea this year.  She's branched out to bully as many as she can.

The teacher has done a good job of trying to be on top of it, but he can only do so much.  Especially when the kids aren't telling every time.  I know they've met with the parents a few different times about things. 

I feel things haven't gotten better, and are still getting worse.  In my honest opinion they need to stop giving her chances and make the parents find a new school.  Since its a charter school the school doesn't have to put up with this, and shouldn't.  They need to stand up to the parents and just tell them they need to go.

I don't want to have to find a new school because this one has been awesome as far as education and working with Sugar Pea and her learning disabilities.  I'm afraid that if things don't start getting better now, we will have to find a new one next year.

Class Bully

We've been dealing with a bully problem in my daughter's class for the last 2 years.

In 2nd grade the girl tried to cut my daughter's ponytail off.  Plus there was the name calling, and the you can't play with us.

In 3rd grade it got bad.  She threw water on my daughter and then told everyone she wet her pants.  Then her and 2 of her friends made up a song to sing to her.  Then she started threatening my daughter.  Told her that if she told anyone what was going on that she was going to come to school sick and cough in Sugar Pea's face so that she would go home and make her daddy sick, then he would die.  So as an 8 year old, this scared her, so she stopped telling me what was going on.  I would find out a little bit here and there from her friends or other parents in the class.

The 3rd grade teacher was really good about handling the situation at first, until the parents came in and started screaming at her.  Then she got a little scared of them, and stopped handling things the way they should have been.

At the end of the school year the class had a play.  They were doing a dress rehearsal at school and had to go into the bathroom to change.  When my daughter went into the bathroom stall to change, this little monster started screaming at her to hurry up.  Then started throwing things at her because she was taking to long.  3 open stalls, but she wanted the one Sugar Pea was in.  One of the other girls in the bathroom didn't like this and went and got the principal.  She took the kids in and talked to them and explained to them that what they were doing was bullying and that it wasn't going to be tolerated at the school.  The bully's 2 friends realized then that they needed to stop.  Unfortunately the bully didn't seem to care.

I found out about this situation from the parent of the girl that went to get the principal.  I talked to the principal to find out what happened and she explained the situation and apologized for not telling me what was going on, that she thought the teacher was going to talk to me about it.

The last day of school I sat down with the teacher, the principal, and the girl's mother to try to get things sorted out.  That didn't work to well.  She told me I was being to sensitive and that's just how her daughter is.  Then she went on to say that she's uncomfortable at the school because my husband's sick and he went into the class and talked to the kids and she doesn't want him infecting her kids.  OMG!  This pissed me, and both the teacher and principal off.  My husband and I went into the class to talk to the kids about what's going on with him.  Explained to them that he was born with a broken heart and now because his heart is to tired, he needs a new one.  We explained to them that he's sick but its not something he could spread from person to person.  This showed me just how ignorant the woman really is and opened my eyes to why her child is the way she is. 

Over the summer I talked to the 4th grade teacher about the problems, and he assured me that he would put a stop to it.

This little monster started in the 1st week of school.  She didn't like Sugar Pea's new glasses.  Told her that only ugly kids would wear those glasses, and that if it were her she would never come back to school if she had to wear them.

She would throw things at Sugar Pea, put gum in her hair, twice, and she's back to the "death" threat against her dad.

I talked to the teacher probably 4 times in the first 2 weeks of school.  The only difference this year is the little monster has turned on half the class.  She grabbed a hand full of compostable food (from the garbage area) and smashed it in one kids face and put it in another girl's hair.

We are in the 8th week of school and she's already had 3 Friday detentions, and has another one this Friday.  The teacher has tried to talk to the parents once already and they blame it all on me.  Saying that me and Sugar Pea are to sensitive and we need to realize that's just how the little monster is.

The teacher this year seems on it, and I'm hoping the  parents either realize that there is a problem, or get tired of the teachers "picking" on their child and leave the school.